What it is like to try to love someone whose heart is found deep within the emotional castle, which they have built around it, safe from the world, abuse, and hassle.
She keeps her heart, her feelings safe, each layer of defense made from pain and uncertainty. The pain of being hurt by those who were supposed to protect and shield. The uncertainty of who will be the next to abuse or hurt. So, she lives her life in the castle of her heart, built brick by brick over time, to never yield.
To be on the outside of the castle is a daunting place, a fortress, a sanctuary, a formidable face. Nevertheless, this is where I found her heart, deep within the castle she has built around, to try to get to the feelings that it holds, only the castle defenses have I found.
She takes the high ground. A location chosen to allow her heart to see those who are approaching…including me. To be able to know, who is friend or foe. She doesn’t want to be taken by surprise, so the high ground gives her far-seeing eyes.
Curtain walls have been erected around her entire castle, her heart inside is kept safe by the tall insurmountably thick walls that conceal her heart's movement inside. Giving her freedom to move about with silence and shelter and change her heart’s place, for maximum protection.
The emotional moat she has dug is deep and wide, deeper than the anger and pain that have pushed her inside. Wider than the determination most are willing to risk, to get a glimpse of her wounded heart inside.
Her castle has towers all around, so she can prepare and shoot others down. Anyone approaching will surely be spotted from afar, and from the towers her heart’s emotional archers will keep other’s feelings at bay. Firing at them from high above, keeping them from stealing or breaking her heart's love.
A draw-bridge from the surrounding land leads to her heart’s castle entrance, but the bridge is rarely in the position to cross, and as time goes by the chains that hold it up are beginning to rust in place, keeping the heart’s castle closed for others to enter, or seeing another intruder’s face.
The portcullis of her heart’s castle is strong and sure, keeping all those out who try to batter the door, even in anger and rage the portcullis is there to stop the invaders, stop the assailants, block those who would try to take her heart from its deep stronghold sanctuary.
The gatehouse with its narrowing entrance, thick heavy door that only has one key… a key that only her heart holds, that has never been shown to anyone since building this place. If allowed in the gate, it is only to extent that one can pass, maybe a courtyard or kitchen, or even providing a place to sleep, but you’ll never see the heart in its “Keep.”